Well maybe you weren’t “really” pregnant…

You know what? Eat it.Don’t tell me if I’m “really pregnant” or not. I chart this shit, I monitor mucus all over my body and I am in tune with what’s going on. You probe and prick and sit in your ivory tower. Don’t tell me I wasn’t pregnant.
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Okay… let’s backtrack to last November. The Man and I went to see a different doctor. Yes, we were at an RE, yes I thought the clinic was good (I mean let’s be honest, not THAT good, I still wasn’t pregnant). Anyway, we had hit our deductible, and The Man had completed his surgery. However, they say that after the surgery it takes 3 months to recover (who knew those small little guys took 3 months to grow- everything about this process takes FOR.Ev.ER.!). Which would put us at the New Year, and then after that the next year is the best time to conceive- score for us, but also this implies more waiting. So we decided it would be foolish to “waste” IUIs or pump me up with more crazy meds if the little swimmers were still in the shallow end. We wanted to live the holidays without the constraints of doctor’s visits and disappointments. So we decided to pursue more natural treatment AND make sure my body was tip-top so we could maximize the sperm and my uterus.

In the meantime, I wanted to have my cycle studied again- a second opinion of you will. The thing about the RE office is that when they study your cycle, they stop after ovulation. For me, that really didn’t do much- I ovulated, I released an egg, my hormones were “normal”, yada yada yada. I had a feeling (based on my mucus and temperature charting) that my hormones were getting effed up in the second half of my cycle- so even if I got pregnant I wouldn’t be able to sustain.

As I mentioned in my last post, we met up with a Catholic doctor well versed in NaPro technology and treatment- which is the treatment the Church gets behind. She did a cycle study for one full month (what a concept!). So I went to the lab every other day (you know it’s bad when they know by name) and had my labs drawn. And finally (!) we had some conclusive information- my hormones were super normal until I ovulated, but then they got all jacked up. My estrogen and progesterone plummeted after ovulation, meaning I couldn’t sustain a pregnancy (public service announcement ladies, – TRUST YOUR BODIES AND INTUITION). So we started on a regimen where I took fe.me.ra to help with “strong” ovulation and then HCG injections on peak +3, 5, 7, 9. the first month it worked so well that my Doc thought I was pregnant (my labs were in the 300s for both), but this last cycle it didn’t work so well, as my estrogen plummeted. However, we did have our FIRST EVER positive HPT. It was faint, but I count that. Later that day the blood came and my dreams crashed (but I already knew it was coming, my temperature had plummeted again).

We had an appointment scheduled with the RE to talk about the new year/new insurance and possible use of our new IUIs. I spoke with the insurance company (was on hold for 45 minutes- what?!) and got the money deal squared away. I have to be thankful that we have good coverage- but I’ll leave it there. So we get to the RE office, I explain the holistic stuff I do, bring in my husband’s new SA like he got a 100% on a report card, and tell her I had a chemical pregnancy last month. Enter annoying comments:

Doc: “Well… you may have been pregnant. It could have been left over HCG”

Me: “Nope, I’m pretty sure it was out of my system. It’s half life would indicate that it was out of my system and the level needed to register a HPT is higher than what could have possibly been left in my system”

Doc: “Well, it was probably left over HCG, everyone’s body is different”

Me: “LISTEN, I’ve researched this a lot, and the doctor who prescribed this protocol indicated I was pregnant. This was the first HPT I’ve ever gotten and my other symptoms were consistent with a chemical pregnancy”

Doc: “Well, I don’t want to discount your pregnancy”

UGH! I think you just did. Can’t you let me be happy for the 4 hours I got to be pregnant in my head? For the hope it gave my husband and I that we actually succeeded after almost TWO YEARS?!?

Anyway, we spoke with her after that and decided to do IUIs with 2 batches of sperm and use Foll.istim. I used to be afraid of needles, but now I’m more interested in how tacky the model’s nails are in the Follistim video than I am afraid of shooting myself up. I’ve come a long way in the fear department but not the judging department- step by step.

So for the IUI prep: One day down- at least 4 more to go. Let’s pray Folli.stim lives up to its name and we can get knocked up over here.

xoxo

 

 

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One thought on “Well maybe you weren’t “really” pregnant…

  1. Can I just say I love your blog? I just ingested the whole thing. You are a wonderful writer and these feelings are far too close to home….keep writing, thanks for sharing … know you have a faithful reader in me … and a CHEERLEADER! Love ya!

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