Infertility and Faith

 

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,

so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

Romans 15: 13

 

Man this infertility stuff gets into your head. I’ve been pretty open with most of my friends about the struggle The Man and I are on. I think, in all honesty, you have to be open about what is going on in your life or you can easily allow yourself to be shut out and secluded. I need people in my life to keep me going, so in that vein my friends know that this journey has been hard. But the longer we go through this, the more I see each hug, each card, each coffee date as a reminder that God is holding me, He is guarding me, and reassuring that we will be a mother and a father- a family, someday. The longer we struggle, the more I feel God’s love and presence in my life.  

Over and over I am overwhelmed by the support system I have in place, and I really feel so blessed by all of the people who surround me- I truly see God in them. One friend in particular (who has a beautiful baby girl) takes all the anger that I do not feel anymore/have not felt for a very long time and channels it into her own little body. She has no idea what infertility feels like but yet I hear her say, “I am so pissed off that you guys aren’t pregnant; you would make great parents; this is totally unfair.” Amen, sister. But you see- it’s precisely because of friendships like those that I do not fear. It’s these friendships; these conversations that keep me going. I truly believe that God is present in these moments, as they always seem to come when I feel my lowest. 

This is what I believe

– Infertility is NOT part of “God’s plan”  

– I will be a mother and I will have a large family (however that may look)

– “Fairness” is not for me (or anyone but God) to determine; it is also not the same as justice

– Suffering makes you stronger, but that understanding doesn’t make it any easier

– If I cast my anxieties and fears on my God, I will be comforted (through a prayer, a silly commercial, a song or a loving friend) 

– Though I may grow weary and tired, I can always find strength in my God 

– God wants what’s best for me, and if I can trust in that, I will be able to experience that beauty in each moment, regardless of where I think I am in achieving what’s “best” for me

 

It’s a tricky thing this infertility business.

But I know that God is with me, and that this journey is not yet over. 

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2 thoughts on “Infertility and Faith

  1. I agree! Infertility is not a part of God’s plan! We haven’t told our families or our friends yet that we can’t have biological children. In fact we’ve been lying to people telling them we aren’t thinking about having kids until my husband is done with school. I have no idea how to have the conversation with any of them.

    I do love this quote about the law of compensation. It gives me hope and helps me feel a little more at peace: “The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.” – Joseph B Wirthlin

    Thank you for your blog post!

    • Thank you so much for your comment! I believe our God is SO faithful and I love the quote that you provided. My mother passed away about 4 years ago, and it is that sentiment (that was so beautifully expressed by Wirthlin) that has helped me get through the pain of losing her and our added infertility. I will be thinking of you and praying for you- have a wonderful week!

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