For some reason I thought if I suffered through Mother’s Day with a smile on my face and pretended I was brave, that the universe would reward us with babies this cycle. I thought if I pushed out the negative and brought in the positive things would shift. But, I guess this wasn’t the one.
I’ve been doing my hypnotherapy meditations and my therapist said I was doing so well that I was all done; “graduated” if you will… She said she could feel me pregnant… But the negative test this morning had other plans.
To be honest- I have no idea what day I ovulated, how many eggs actually came out, or any of that information. This cycle I stopped testing, stopped charting and tried to chill. But I do know that I felt really good. For instance, my husband passed the exams he’s been studying 4 years for, he got a promotion, we both got raises…. Things seem to be shifting in our world. And maybe they are- maybe the next few month will fulfill our dreams.
In the meantime I’m trying to stay positive, ride this wave of good things and focus on staying healthy. Every month I think about giving up- especially on days like today or when I see all my friends’ babies, but I can’t give up because I feel like each cycle we are so much closer to “the” cycle. I guess I’m addicted to hope, but I know deep down it’s gonna work.
Have a great memorial weekend friends!