I had the privilege of going to see Sir Paul McCartney on Saturday, which was a huge blessing by itself, but even more so because it helped me keep my mind off of Thursday’s upcoming beta test.
I should probably preface this post by providing some background. I met my husband when I was a sophomore in college (19 years old). I had never really “dated” anyone (and I had only kissed 3 people in my life…) so when we got together, I had a feeling he was the one. The week we started dating he saw Paul McCartney on tour. During our courtship we made NUMEROUS mix CD’s to chronicle our feelings over music. One thing I learned quickly is that my husband had a healthy obsession with The Beatles- and that was something I respected and shared with him. And so it was fitting that the soundtrack of our relationship has revolved around Beatles’ classics- each providing their own depth and insights into different parts of our relationship- be it when we met (in choir), when I studied abroad or moved away, and when we were together and dated for 5 years. Our favorite song- and the one we danced to at our wedding was “I Will”. It’s not a very popular one- but it’s sentiments are sweet, so here it is:
Who knows how long I’ve loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime?
If you want me to I will
For if I ever saw you
I didn’t catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same
Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we’re together
Love you when we’re apart
And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
Oh, you know I will, I will
The concert was amazing, even though he didn’t play “I Will”. He did play numerous Beatles songs, a few new songs (I liked “My Valentine”), and some songs from his band “Wings”. All in all- it was pretty much a Beatles concert, and it was fantastic. For a 72 year old man, he’s still got mad game and singing ability. Some of the most poignant moments, though, were when he explained why he wrote the songs. The song “Blackbird” was written for the turmoil in the south- and “to everyone who was struggling to get through something”. Yes, me! You’re talking to me, Sir Paul?!
“Blackbird singin’ in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. You were only waiting for this moment to arrive. Blackbird, fly. Into the light of a dark black night.”
And then he played “Maybe I’m Amazed”, which reminded me of how blessed I am to be traveling this journey with my husband and to know what an Amazing man he is. Just a few lines from that,
“Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time, Maybe I’m amazed by the way I love you… Maybe I’m amazed at the way you help me sing my song, right me when I’m wrong, Maybe I’m amazed at the way I really need you.”
Not to mention We can work it out, Yesterday, Golden Slumbers, and finally, Let it Be. I think at this point in our IVF journey, “Let it Be” is the perfect song. Not only do I think about my relationship in terms of a “soundtrack”, I’ve often thought of different parts of my life in a soundtrack-type way, and for this phase- this MUST be the song.
“And when the night is cloudy
There is still a light that shines on me
Shine on until tomorrow, let it be
I wake up to the sound of music,
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be”
So… until Thursday, I’ll let it be. I’m not going to POAS, I’m going to try to clench my teeth a little less, laugh a little more, and enjoy my last week off before I go back to work/school. I know that this journey has been long, but it’s been worth every minute. I also know that no matter what, God has a plan for us. I hope His plan involves these two sweet babies sticking and making a home, but I place my trust in the plan.
Keep us in your prayers for Thursday- hoping that Thing 1 and Thing 2 are going to still be in there! Stay cozy baby loves! Thanks for reading.